H.O.P.E./Chapter Fourteen - Bark Bark, Hoe
Bark Bark, Hoe is the fourth installment of Season Two of H.O.P.E. and it is the fourteenth episode overall. Lucifer and Angela try to hide Mona's escape from Tara and Francois, leading to a pretty ugly turn of events. Mandy and Sister are tasked with escaping a bunch of Monokumas. Asahina's donut craze leads to weird shit. Crim and The Regime get on the airport to Japan, again. Episode Intro BLOOD ISLAND --- 14 DAYS BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE --- EVENING A beautiful couple is walking by the beach. DUDE: I love you BITCH: Nawh I love you DUDE: I love you more BITCH: Bullshit I love you more DUDE: excuse me BITCH: Oh so you loved me more when u were checking out jennifer's ass last tuesday DUDE: im sorry im not the one whos bending over to my yoga instructor like a fucking slut BITCH: WELL IM SORRY IF HES HOTTER THAN YOU DUDE: SEE I LOVE YOU MORE BITCH: ...fuck BITCH: AAAA OMG IS THAT A FUCKING HEAD DUDE: OMLLL BITCH: WHAT DUDE: NO LOOK ITS UNCLE JESSE Brock's head rolls to the Bitch's feet. Hester comes out of the bushes and snaps both Bitch and Dude's necks. HESTER: ok pussy or dick for lunch? HESTER: FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS AMIRITE PART ONE SATANS' MANSION --- 15 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE --- MORNING Lucifer and Angela have arrived home after Mona got freed by Hester. TARA: Hi bbyyyy... and lucifer hi too LUCIFER: hi mom TARA: ugh ANGELA: hi big thicc momma TARA: YASS OMG ILYYYY CHARLOTTE: ive got bad news LUCIFER: CHARLOTTE STFU TARA: No i wanna listen to her u adopted accident LUCIFER: But I-- TARA: SHUT IT U FUCKING USELESS THING ANGELA: yea lucy LUCIFER: NO JUST-- CHARLOTTE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RN ABOUT POPPY CHARLOTTE: lucifer is acting very suspicion rn POPPY: Hello guys. TARA: hi poppy POPPY: Should I become a beauty guru? CHARLOTTE: OMG U RAT GO AWAY i lowkey ship these two just sayin TARA: fine bitch just... were dealing with something important here Lucifer grabs Charlotte and takes him to his room. CHARLOTTE: Ik it was you LUCIFER: Keep it down will ya? CHARLOTTE: wtf was ur idea to free that dumb bitch LUCIFER: I... Charlotte please stay quiet CHARLOTTE: 1000 dollars, a Ferrari, two enchiladas, two boyfriends preferably supernatural and rapey so i can romanticize them in my head, six hundred vegan sandwiches and ALL THE POPPY ROBOTS OUT OF THIS HOUSE LUCIFER: um whats with the rapey shit CHARLOTTE: angela made me watch twilight a week ago LUCIFER: fucking angela LUCIFER: look if my mom finds out... she can... she can end me CHARLOTTE: like kill you? LUCIFER: y-yea... CHARLOTTE: Omg Lucy are u crying rn Lucifer starts crying like a dog. CHARLOTTE: omfg tell me whats wrong CHARLOTTE: is it bc ur gay? LUCIFER'' (crying AF)'': Q-QUIET BITCH CHARLOTTE: S-Sorry... LUCIFER: It's just... Ever since I was "adopted" by Tara, I've been scared. Of everything. Do you know how dad would react if he finds out I'm gay? CHARLOTTE: Well he did pretend to Mona he was gay tbh LUCIFER: Charlotte cmon, you know my dad is fucking extra CHARLOTTE: tru LUCIFER: Plus, I'm not like Angela. I didn't kill a fucking teacher as a sacrifice to her. I'm not special... Tara just needed me so she could hide me under her belly so everyone could think she was pregnant but then she would "miscarriage"... And then I grew up with her. She never liked me how she likes Tara... She treats me like I'm some fucking fan of her... AND I FUCKING HATE HER. THERE. I SAID IT. I'm just tired of having to pretend to be this person to make people I don't even like proud. Tara killed my parents so she could pretend she had a pregnancy rumor rise up Buzzfeed. Like, who does that? And now... Here I am. I don't know what to do with my life, where to go... I'm just following Angela. The star of the family. I just want to be normal. Human. And she took that chance away from me. Everyone treats her like a kween. Like she's some fucking amazing human being. But she's the devil. You get in her way, she will chew you up to pieces, throw you to the garbage bin, throw that garbage bin to the ocean and then wait until a shark ate the garbage bin to pieces, wait for the shark to shit out that garbage bin and then feed it to sick children at a hospital. That's how evil she is. And I still love her. Idolize her. She doesn't care about anyone. Not Francois. Not Poppy. Not you. Not Angela. She ONLY cares about herself. And the worst part about it is... that no one can stop her. No one can fucking end her. Everyone will suffer her wrath until the only people standing are her suicidal fans. And now Mona's ran away. What does that mean for me? I'm literally nobody! I could have been someone. I wasn't. Now I'm here. Talking to a fucking mannequin. No offense. CHARLOTTE: damn CHARLOTTE: I'm here for you tho LUCIFER: thanks Charlotte CHARLOTTE: OMG WHAT WAS DAT WAS DAT POPPY OMG I BETTER CHECK IT OUT BYEEEEEEEEEEEE Charlotte leaves the room. She meets Angela, who was outside. ANGELA: damn that was a rant... But that will be enough to show it to mommy CHARLOTTE: MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAH hoe MUKURO'S APPARTMENT --- 15 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE --- AFTERNOON Mukuro and Sakura are talking. MUKURO: So how's Asahina holding up? SAKURA: idk... she says she's ok, but she doesn't look ok MUKURO: do you think there was something in those donuts? SAKURA: I have no idea, but it's entirely possible Suddenly the two girls hear a scream. They rush to Asahina's bedroom and see she's struggling to get up from the ground. Blue slime is coming out of her. MUKURO: '''wtf???? '''SAKURA: ASAHINA R U OK OMG Sakura desperately tries to help Asahina. Mukuro gets an anonymous text. "Hey sis... I'm so fucking bored... Come to this address Imma about to sent you. I'm inviting you to the first, last, ultimate battle of Hope vs. Despair bitch. Wanna join to celebrate? UPUPUPU!" MUKURO: omg MUKURO: Sakura, I'm sorry... But I gotta go, it's super urgent SAKURA: oh no, it's ok... But please can u call a doctor? That's not in the influence of despair please MUKURO: sure Mukuro leaves the appartment. PART TWO AIRPORT --- 15 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE --- LUNCHTIME The Regime managed to drive to the airport. DEADPOOL: felt good slaying some bitches VELMA: well, if ur lucky, u can add this kitty cat to ur slaying list Velma winks and Wade gets hard. CLAIRE: she got over daphne quick CRIM: Claire are u forgetting the one week where she refused to do anything other than to cry in her room TOM: it was a fucking pain in the ass, she literally did nothing CLAIRE: true NICK: Okay people so whos gonna pilot the stupid plane ELSA: I would but I dont have my gloves here NICK: what do u even need the gloves for ELSA: girl i can literally freeze anything i touch without my gloves, unless you want to crash the plane its not the best idea to let me pilot TOM: thats her way of saying hes a bottom NICK: Shes a girl TOM: what r u talking about thats jack frost NICK: R u high TOM: My best friend died and theres no Wi-Fi here. what do u think CUPCAKKE: Umm I can pilot anything u want baby TOM: no ty CRIM: WOW tom TOM: wat DEADPOOL: I srsly just lost all of the respect i had for u TOM: WAT CLAIRE: tom i dont even know u ELSA: even I would get my pussy shredded by cupcakke TOM: FINE YOU WANT ME TO FUCK HER FINE LETS FUCK Tom and CupcakKe fuck. NICK: same CUPCAKKE: no but srsly im piloting the plane CRUELLA: ok me too CRUELLA: YAY ITS A REUNION CUPCAKKE: umm i forgot who u is CRUELLA: Sometimes I forget who I am too VELMA: wow killed the mood there CRIM: ok um lets get on the fucking plane before ppl try to kill us. Here is our disguises since Junko has the whole Japan looking for us The Regime flies to Japan. SATANS' MANSION --- 15 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE --- DINNER Everyone is having dinner. LUCIFER: Soo... ANGELA: hey mom guess what i found! FRANCOIS: wat my lil angel? ANGELA: Well... me and Charlotte Charlotte comes in. CHARLOTTE: wat when who where why how ANGELA: C'mon, Char Char CHARLOTTE: excuse me ANGELA: Tell me what u found... Angela gives Lucifer a devious look, and he suddenly realizes what's up. LUCIFER: You little--- CHARLOTTE: HEY she gave me those rapey bfs i asked for fuck off LUCIFER: BUT BUT Charlotte whips out a voice recorder. Charlotte presses play and Lucifer's speech to Charlotte from earlier starts playing. LUCIFER'' (recorder)'': It's just... Ever since I was "adopted" by Tara, I've been scared. Of everything. Do you know how dad would react if he finds out I'm gay? CHARLOTTE: ''(recorder)'' Well he did pretend to Mona he was gay tbh LUCIFER (recorder): Charlotte cmon, you know my dad is fucking extra CHARLOTTE (recorder): tru FRANCOIS: IM NOT EXTRA U LITTLE-- LUCIFER (recorder): Plus, I'm not like Angela. I didn't kill a fucking teacher as a sacrifice to her. I'm not special... Tara just needed me so she could hide me under her belly so everyone could think she was pregnant but then she would "miscarriage"... And then I grew up with her. She never liked me how she likes Tara... She treats me like I'm some fucking fan of her... AND I FUCKING HATE HER. THERE. I SAID IT. I'm just tired of having to pretend to be this person to make people I don't even like proud. Tara killed my parents so she could pretend she had a pregnancy rumor rise up Buzzfeed. Like, who does that? And now... Here I am. I don't know what to do with my life, where to go... I'm just following Angela. The star of the family. I just want to be normal. Human. And she took that chance away from me. Everyone treats her like a kween. Like she's some fucking amazing human being. But she's the devil. You get in her way, she will chew you up to pieces, throw you to the garbage bin, throw that garbage bin to the ocean and then wait until a shark ate the garbage bin to pieces, wait for the shark to shit out that garbage bin and then feed it to sick children at a hospital. That's how evil she is. And I still love her. Idolize her. She doesn't care about anyone. Not Francois. Not Poppy. Not you. Not Angela. She ONLY cares about herself. And the worst part about it is... that no one can stop her. No one can fucking end her. Everyone will suffer her wrath until the only people standing are her suicidal fans. And now Mona's ran away. What does that mean for me? I'm literally nobody! I could have been someone. I wasn't. Now I'm here. Talking to a fucking mannequin. No offense. TARA: oh... is that so? Lucifer looks at Tara, scared. TARA: I could've abandoned you. After the pregnancy bullshit. I could have left you to die. But I instead... Gave you a home-- LUCIFER'' (angry)'': A HOME I DIDN'T ASK FOR! LOOK AROUND TARA. DO YOU THINK ANY OF US ARE REMOTELY HAPPY IN OUR LIVES? I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for you. Tara walks to Lucifer, who is scared but angry at the same time. TARA: So... You want to give up? Be the sad, gay, lonely bitch you are and were always meant to be? LUCIFER: TARA... If-f... an-anyone he-ere is s-sad and l-lonely... it's you. TARA: ...fine. Lucifer is shook. Tara sheds a tear. TARA: You're... you're right Lucifer. In these dark, dark times... I haven't been the best mom for you. Tara hugs Lucifer. TARA: And you wanna know why? BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THE BEST SON Tara throws Lucifer into the ground, as she grabs a katana that was randomly there. TARA: SAY HI TO OG MAMA FOR ME LUCIFER: TARA PLEA--- Tara stabs Lucifer right in the eye. Angela is shooketh. TARA: You know, Angela... In these dark, dark times, we SHOULD be a family. May this be a lesson: when someone goes behind your ass and talks shit behind your ass... you clap back. Angela gulps of fear. Charlotte is shooketh. Poppy is dancing with her teddy bear. FRANCOIS: No offense baby doll, but clap back doesn't exactly mean stab him in the eye with a katana. BUT he is gay so... BURN HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH BITCH Tara and Francois start laughing. Angela sheds a tear but suddenly... she sees the fun in it. She starts laughing. Slowly. Then she laughs faster. She joins her family. Angela finally realized what it's like to be a Satan. YOU HAVE TO OWN IT. CHARLOTTE: ok im just gonna leave now Suddenly Tara gets an anonymous text. TARA: omg FRANCOIS: wat TARA: Someone has Mandy Epilogue JAPANESE BATTLEFIELD --- 15 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE --- EVENING Mandy and Sister wake up. They notice they are in a battlefield. Junko is staring at them from up above. JUNKO: Hi beotches! MANDY: im so ready to kick ur fucking ass JUNKO: HOW ABOUT U WAIT... JUNKO: We have other guests joining the Ultimate Battle of Hope vs Despair... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHACategory:H.O.P.E. Episodes Category:H.O.P.E. Season Two Episodes